nǚxu: 女婿 - Son-in-law

• Keywords: nǚxu, nuxu, 女婿, son-in-law in Chinese, Chinese family terms, Chinese son-in-law, what is nuxu, meaning of 女婿, daughter's husband in Chinese, Yuefu, Yuemu
• Summary: 女婿 (nǚxu) is the Chinese word for “son-in-law,” meaning a daughter's husband. More than just a descriptive label, this term is deeply embedded in Chinese culture, signifying a man who has married into a family and taken on a new role with specific expectations of respect, care, and integration with his wife's parents. Understanding a 女婿's role is key to understanding modern Chinese family dynamics.

• Pinyin (with tone marks): nǚxù
• Part of Speech: Noun
• HSK Level: HSK 5
• Concise Definition: A daughter's husband; a son-in-law.
• In a Nutshell: While “son-in-law” is the direct translation, a 女婿 (nǚxù) in Chinese culture is often viewed as a new member of the wife's family, almost like “half a son” (半个儿, bàn ge ér). The term implies a close relationship with his parents-in-law, built on respect and filial duty, which plays a significant role in maintaining family harmony.

• 女 (nǚ): This character is a pictograph of a woman kneeling or sitting gracefully. It means “woman,” “female,” or “daughter.”
• 婿 (xù): This character is more complex. The left side, 胥 (xū), is a phonetic component, while the right side, 女 (nǚ), is the semantic component, indicating the word is related to women or marriage.
• Together, 女婿 (nǚxù) literally combines “daughter” and a character related to marriage to mean “the husband of one's daughter.”

The concept of a 女婿 (nǚxù) is central to the Chinese family structure. Traditionally, a woman would “marry out” (嫁出去, jià chūqù) and join her husband's family. However, this did not sever her ties to her own parents, and her husband, the 女婿, was expected to bridge that gap. A good 女婿 is expected to show filial piety (孝顺, xiàoshùn) to his parents-in-law (岳父岳母, yuèfù yuèmǔ), treating them with the respect one would show their own parents. This includes visiting them during major holidays like Chinese New Year, helping them financially or physically if needed, and generally maintaining a harmonious relationship. This contrasts with the typical Western view of a son-in-law, where the relationship is often warm but more personal and less defined by structured social obligation. In China, the role of a 女婿 is an established part of the family ecosystem. The popular saying that a good son-in-law is like “half a son” (半个儿, bàn ge ér) perfectly illustrates this ideal. He is not a blood relative, but he is expected to fulfill many of the duties of a son, especially if his parents-in-law have no male children.

In modern China, the term 女婿 is used frequently in conversation, but almost exclusively as a term of reference, not a term of address.

• Referring to a Son-in-law: A person would introduce their daughter's husband to others by saying “这是我的女婿” (This is my son-in-law). They would talk about him to friends and relatives using this term.
• Addressing a Son-in-law: Parents-in-law do not call their son-in-law “女婿” to his face. This would be strange and overly formal. Instead, they call him by his given name or a familiar nickname, just as they would with their own children.
• Connotation: The term is neutral but carries a warm, familial feeling. Being called a “好女婿” (hǎo nǚxù - good son-in-law) is a significant compliment, indicating that he fulfills his familial duties well and is well-loved by his wife's family. Family-centric TV dramas in China often feature storylines revolving around the complex relationships between a 女婿 and his parents-in-law.

• Example 1:
  • 我给你们介绍一下，这是我的女婿，李伟。
  • Pinyin: Wǒ gěi nǐmen jièshào yīxià, zhè shì wǒ de nǚxu, Lǐ Wěi.
  • English: Let me introduce you, this is my son-in-law, Li Wei.
  • Analysis: A standard, common way for a parent-in-law to introduce their son-in-law to others.
• Example 2:
  • 我妈总说，我的女婿比亲儿子还孝顺。
  • Pinyin: Wǒ mā zǒng shuō, wǒ de nǚxu bǐ qīn érzi hái xiàoshùn.
  • English: My mom always says my son-in-law is more filial than her own son.
  • Analysis: This is very high praise in Chinese culture, highlighting the importance of 孝顺 (xiàoshùn), or filial piety, in the role of a son-in-law.
• Example 3:
  • 今年春节，女婿和女儿会一起回来过年。
  • Pinyin: Jīnnián Chūnjié, nǚxu hé nǚ'ér huì yīqǐ huílái guònián.
  • English: This Spring Festival, our son-in-law and daughter will come back to celebrate the New Year together.
  • Analysis: This sentence demonstrates the cultural expectation for married couples to visit the wife's family during major holidays.
• Example 4:
  • 他是个好女婿，经常帮岳父岳母干活儿。
  • Pinyin: Tā shì ge hǎo nǚxu, jīngcháng bāng yuèfù yuèmǔ gàn huór.
  • English: He is a good son-in-law; he often helps his father-in-law and mother-in-law with chores.
  • Analysis: This shows a practical way a son-in-law can demonstrate care and fulfill his role.
• Example 5:
  • 张叔叔的女婿是位医生，非常有出息。
  • Pinyin: Zhāng shūshu de nǚxu shì wèi yīshēng, fēicháng yǒu chūxi.
  • English: Uncle Zhang's son-in-law is a doctor and is very successful.
  • Analysis: A son-in-law's profession and success can be a source of pride (面子, miànzi) for the wife's family.
• Example 6:
  • 做人家的女婿，嘴要甜一点，手脚要勤快一点。
  • Pinyin: Zuò rénjiā de nǚxu, zuǐ yào tián yīdiǎn, shǒujiǎo yào qínkuài yīdiǎn.
  • English: To be someone's son-in-law, you should be a smooth talker and be diligent with your hands and feet (i.e., work hard).
  • Analysis: This is a common piece of folk wisdom or advice about the expected behavior of a son-in-law.
• Example 7:
  • 他们对这个未来的女婿非常满意。
  • Pinyin: Tāmen duì zhège wèilái de nǚxu fēicháng mǎnyì.
  • English: They are very satisfied with this future son-in-law.
  • Analysis: The term can be used to refer to a fiancé or serious boyfriend who is expected to marry into the family.
• Example 8:
  • 丈母娘看女婿，越看越欢喜。
  • Pinyin: Zhàngmuniáng kàn nǚxu, yuè kàn yuè huānxǐ.
  • English: The more a mother-in-law looks at her son-in-law, the more she likes him.
  • Analysis: This is a very famous Chinese proverb, describing the typically warm and approving relationship between a mother-in-law and her daughter's husband.
• Example 9:
  • 别担心，我女婿会开车来接我们的。
  • Pinyin: Bié dānxīn, wǒ nǚxu huì kāichē lái jiē wǒmen de.
  • English: Don't worry, my son-in-law will drive over to pick us up.
  • Analysis: Shows the son-in-law in a practical, supportive role within the daily life of the family.
• Example 10:
  • 王家正在招女婿，要求男方有房有车。
  • Pinyin: Wáng jiā zhèngzài zhāo nǚxu, yāoqiú nánfāng yǒu fáng yǒu chē.
  • English: The Wang family is “recruiting” a son-in-law, requiring the man to have a house and a car.
  • Analysis: This sentence uses the term somewhat humorously or critically to reflect modern societal pressures and material expectations in marriage.

• Never Use as a Term of Address: The most common mistake for a learner is to think that a mother-in-law would call her son-in-law “喂，女婿!” (Hey, son-in-law!). This is incorrect. She would use his name, e.g., “李伟, 过来吃饭!” (Li Wei, come and eat!). 女婿 is for reference, not address.
• 女婿 (nǚxu) vs. 姑爷 (gūye): 姑爷 (gūye) is another word for son-in-law. It is more traditional, sometimes considered more colloquial or regional (especially in Northern China), and can carry a slightly more affectionate or respectful tone depending on the context. 女婿 is the standard, modern, and universally understood term. For learners, sticking with 女婿 is always safe.
• Cultural Equivalence Mistake: Do not assume the role of a 女婿 is identical to a Western “son-in-law.” While the definition is the same, the cultural baggage and expectations of familial integration, respect, and duty are much stronger in the Chinese context.

• 岳父 (yuèfù): Father-in-law (the wife's father). The 女婿's father-in-law.
• 岳母 (yuèmǔ): Mother-in-law (the wife's mother). The 女婿's mother-in-law. Also colloquially called 丈母娘 (zhàngmuniáng).
• 儿媳 (érxí): Daughter-in-law (son's wife). This is the direct counterpart to 女婿.
• 姑爷 (gūye): A more traditional or colloquial synonym for son-in-law.
• 老公 (lǎogōng): Husband. This is what the daughter calls her husband.
• 孝顺 (xiàoshùn): Filial piety. A core virtue expected of children, and by extension, of a good 女婿.
• 半个儿 (bàn ge ér): “Half a son.” A popular and affectionate idiom used to describe a son-in-law who is as caring and dependable as a biological son.
• 女方 (nǚfāng): The bride's side of the family. The 女婿 marries into the 女方's family network.
• 亲家 (qìngjia): A term for the relationship between the parents of the married couple. The 女婿's parents and the wife's parents call each other 亲家.