qìngjia: 亲家 - Parents-in-law (of one's child); Co-in-laws

  • Keywords: qingjia, 亲家, Chinese in-laws, co-in-laws meaning, parents of son-in-law, parents of daughter-in-law, Chinese family relationships, what is qingjia, how to say in-laws in Chinese, family culture in China.
  • Summary: In Chinese culture, the term 亲家 (qìngjia) refers to the specific relationship between the two sets of parents of a married couple. It's a concept often translated as “co-in-laws” and signifies the formal bond created between two families through their children's marriage. Understanding qìngjia is essential for grasping the importance of family networks and inter-family dynamics in China, a relationship for which there is no single-word equivalent in English.
  • Pinyin (with tone marks): qìngjia
  • Part of Speech: Noun
  • HSK Level: N/A (Considered an advanced or cultural vocabulary item)
  • Concise Definition: The term used by one set of parents to refer to their child's spouse's parents.
  • In a Nutshell: Imagine two people, Li Wei and Zhang Lin, get married. Li Wei's parents and Zhang Lin's parents now have a special relationship with each other. They are 亲家 (qìngjia). This isn't just a label; it signifies a new, formal connection between two distinct families, united by the marriage. They are now family allies, expected to support each other and, most importantly, the new couple and their future grandchildren.
  • 亲 (qìng): In most contexts, this character is pronounced `qīn` and means “parent,” “relative,” or “intimate/close.” However, in the specific word `亲家`, it takes on the rare pronunciation `qìng`. This change signifies a formal, established relationship through marriage, distinct from blood relations.
  • 家 (jiā): This character means “family,” “home,” or “household.”
  • The characters combine to literally mean something like “marriage-related families.” The term beautifully captures the idea that a marriage formally links two separate 家 (jiā), creating a new and important 亲 (qìng) relationship between them.
  • In traditional and even modern Chinese culture, marriage is often seen as a union of two families, not just two individuals. The 亲家 (qìngjia) relationship is the formal embodiment of this principle. It establishes a new, wider family network built on mutual respect and shared interests—primarily the success and happiness of the married couple and the continuation of the family line through grandchildren.
  • Comparison to Western Culture: In many Western cultures, the relationship between a couple's parents can be anything from very close to non-existent. There is no specific, universally used term like 亲家 (qìngjia). The English language's lack of a single word for “my child's spouse's parents” highlights a cultural difference. While English speakers might say “my son's in-laws” or “our children's parents-in-law,” the term 亲家 (qìngjia) carries a deeper sense of formal connection, social obligation, and a shared destiny.
  • This concept is tied to the value of collectivism, where the family unit is paramount. A good 亲家 relationship brings honor and stability, while a poor one can cause stress for the entire extended family. Maintaining harmony between the 亲家 is a significant social goal.
  • The term 亲家 (qìngjia) is used both as a form of address and as a reference. The two sets of parents become central figures during wedding planning, major holidays (like Spring Festival), and especially after the birth of a grandchild.
  • Forms of Address:
    • When speaking directly to the father of your child's spouse, you would call him 亲家公 (qìngjiagōng).
    • When speaking directly to the mother of your child's spouse, you would call her 亲家母 (qìngjiamǔ).
    • When speaking about them together, or referring to the family as a whole, you use 亲家 (qìngjia).
  • Social Interactions: The relationship involves regular communication, gift-giving on holidays, and mutual support. For example, the two sets of parents will often collaborate closely on planning the wedding or celebrating their grandchild's “full moon” (one-month) party. The relationship is generally formal and respectful, especially at the beginning.
  • Example 1:
    • 周末我的亲家要从上海过来看我们。
    • Pinyin: Zhōumò wǒ de qìngjia yào cóng Shànghǎi guòlai kàn wǒmen.
    • English: My son's/daughter's in-laws are coming from Shanghai to see us this weekend.
    • Analysis: This is a common way to refer to the other set of parents when talking to a third party.
  • Example 2:
    • 孩子们结婚后,我们两家就成了亲家
    • Pinyin: Háizi men jiéhūn hòu, wǒmen liǎng jiā jiù chéngle qìngjia.
    • English: After our children got married, our two families became qìngjia (formally related by marriage).
    • Analysis: This sentence clearly explains how the 亲家 relationship is formed.
  • Example 3:
    • 亲家母,您做的这个鱼太好吃了!
    • Pinyin: Qìngjiamǔ, nín zuò de zhège yú tài hǎochī le!
    • English: My dear co-mother-in-law, this fish you made is delicious!
    • Analysis: This shows the direct form of address, 亲家母 (qìngjiamǔ), used politely and warmly. Note the respectful pronoun `您 (nín)`.
  • Example 4:
    • 我得跟我的亲家商量一下孙子的百日宴怎么办。
    • Pinyin: Wǒ děi gēn wǒ de qìngjia shāngliang yīxià sūnzi de bǎirìyàn zěnme bàn.
    • English: I need to discuss with my grandchild's other grandparents how we should organize his 100-day celebration.
    • Analysis: This highlights the collaborative nature of the 亲家 relationship, especially concerning grandchildren.
  • Example 5:
    • 他们两家是世交,现在又成了亲家,真是亲上加亲。
    • Pinyin: Tāmen liǎng jiā shì shìjiāo, xiànzài yòu chéngle qìngjia, zhēn shì qīn shàng jiā qīn.
    • English: Their two families have been friends for generations, and now they've become qìngjia; it's truly adding closeness upon closeness.
    • Analysis: This uses a common idiom `亲上加亲 (qīn shàng jiā qīn)` to describe a situation where an already close relationship is strengthened by marriage.
  • Example 6:
    • 第一次见亲家,我应该带什么礼物?
    • Pinyin: Dì yī cì jiàn qìngjia, wǒ yīnggāi dài shénme lǐwù?
    • English: What gift should I bring for the first time meeting my future child's parents-in-law?
    • Analysis: A very practical question showing the importance of making a good first impression in this formal relationship.
  • Example 7:
    • 王先生,好久不见!这位是我的亲家公。
    • Pinyin: Wáng xiānsheng, hǎojiǔ bújiàn! Zhè wèi shì wǒ de qìngjiagōng.
    • English: Mr. Wang, long time no see! This is my son's/daughter's father-in-law.
    • Analysis: Demonstrates how to introduce one's 亲家公 (qìngjiagōng) in a social setting.
  • Example 8:
    • 咱们现在是亲家了,以后要多走动走动。
    • Pinyin: Zánmen xiànzài shì qìngjia le, yǐhòu yào duō zǒudòng zǒudòng.
    • English: We are qìngjia now, we should visit each other more often in the future.
    • Analysis: A common phrase used to affirm the new relationship and express a desire for future closeness. `走动 (zǒudòng)` here means “to visit” or “to interact.”
  • Example 9:
    • 选个好亲家比给孩子找个好对象还重要。
    • Pinyin: Xuǎn ge hǎo qìngjia bǐ gěi háizi zhǎo ge hǎo duìxiàng hái zhòngyào.
    • English: Choosing a good family-in-law is even more important than finding a good partner for your child.
    • Analysis: A somewhat traditional or hyperbolic statement that underscores the cultural weight placed on the inter-family relationship.
  • Example 10:
    • 虽然我的亲家住在另一个城市,但我们经常视频聊天。
    • Pinyin: Suīrán wǒ de qìngjia zhù zài lìngyīgè chéngshì, dàn wǒmen jīngcháng shìpín liáotiān.
    • English: Although my co-in-laws live in another city, we often video chat.
    • Analysis: This shows how the 亲家 relationship is maintained in modern times, even across distances.
  • Pronunciation is Key: The most common mistake for learners is pronouncing it `qīnjiā`. The correct and only pronunciation for this specific term is qìngjia. Using `qīnjiā` will sound incorrect and confusing to native speakers.
  • It's Not a General “In-Law”: A crucial mistake is to use 亲家 to refer to any in-law. It only describes the relationship between the two sets of parents.
    • Incorrect: My son-in-law is my 亲家. (他是我亲家。)
    • Correct: My son-in-law is my `女婿 (nǚxu)`. (他是我女婿。)
    • Correct: My son-in-law's parents are my 亲家. (我女婿的父母是我的亲家。)
  • False Friend: “In-laws”: In English, “in-laws” is a broad term. A woman can say, “I'm visiting my in-laws,” referring to her husband's parents. However, she would never call her own parents her “in-laws.” Similarly, in Chinese, the two sets of parents are 亲家 to each other, but not to their own children.
  • * 亲家公 (qìngjiagōng) - The specific term for the father of one's child's spouse.
  • * 亲家母 (qìngjiamǔ) - The specific term for the mother of one's child's spouse.
  • * 姻亲 (yīnqīn) - A formal, literary term for all relatives by marriage (in-laws). 亲家 is a specific type of 姻亲.
  • * 女婿 (nǚxu) - Son-in-law.
  • * 儿媳 (érxí) - Daughter-in-law.
  • * 亲戚 (qīnqi) - A general term for all relatives, both by blood and by marriage.
  • * 婆家 (pójiā) - The husband's family home/family.
  • * 娘家 (niángjiā) - The wife's natal family home/family.
  • * 婚礼 (hūnlǐ) - Wedding; the ceremony that officially creates the 亲家 relationship.
  • * 家庭 (jiātíng) - Family; household. The fundamental unit that is joined through the 亲家 connection.