láiwǎng: 来往 - To Associate With, Dealings, Contact

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• Summary: In Chinese, 来往 (láiwǎng) is a fundamental term that literally means “to come and go,” but is used to describe the act of associating with, having contact, or maintaining dealings with people, families, or organizations. It signifies the ongoing, reciprocal nature of social interaction that is crucial for building and maintaining relationships (关系, guānxi). Whether you're talking about visiting a friend or a company's business dealings, 来往 captures the essence of mutual contact.

• Pinyin (with tone marks): láiwǎng
• Part of Speech: Verb, Noun
• HSK Level: HSK 4
• Concise Definition: To have dealings or contact with; the dealings or contact itself.
• In a Nutshell: Imagine a two-way street. 来 (lái) means “to come” and 往 (wǎng) means “to go.” Together, 来往 (láiwǎng) describes the back-and-forth of a relationship. It’s not just about a single phone call or meeting; it’s the continuous flow of interactions—visits, communications, and mutual exchanges—that define how connected you are to someone or something.

• 来 (lái): This character originally depicted a stalk of wheat, symbolizing a harvest that “comes” to you. In modern Chinese, its primary meaning is “to come” or “to arrive.”
• 往 (wǎng): This character shows a foot (止) moving from a place towards a destination, representing the act of “going” or “heading towards.”
• The combination of “come” and “go” perfectly visualizes the reciprocal nature of social life. A healthy relationship isn't one-sided; it requires both parties to make an effort to see each other, creating a steady stream of 来往.

In Chinese culture, which heavily emphasizes community and interpersonal relationships (关系, guānxi), 来往 is the engine that keeps the social machine running. It's the tangible action of maintaining your network. A comparable Western concept might be “keeping in touch,” but 来往 is often more profound and carries a stronger sense of mutual obligation. While “keeping in touch” can be as simple as an annual holiday text, 来往 often implies more significant gestures like visiting each other's homes, exchanging gifts during festivals, and offering tangible help when needed. For example, two families who have good 来往 don't just know each other; they actively participate in each other's lives. This consistent interaction builds trust and 人情 (rénqíng), a form of social capital or mutual obligation. To stop having 来往 with someone (不来往了, bù láiwǎng le) is a significant social statement, indicating a relationship has been severed or has faded away completely.

来往 is a versatile term used in many daily situations, from casual chats to formal business discussions.

• As a Verb (to associate with): This is its most common usage. It describes the action of maintaining a relationship.
  • e.g., 我们两家经常来往。 (Wǒmen liǎng jiā jīngcháng láiwǎng.) - Our two families see each other often.
• As a Noun (dealings, contact): It can also refer to the interactions themselves.
  • e.g., 我们公司和他们没有什么商业来往。 (Wǒmen gōngsī hé tāmen méiyǒu shénme shāngyè láiwǎng.) - Our company doesn't have any business dealings with them.
• Connotation: The word itself is neutral, but it's often modified by adverbs to show the quality of the relationship.
  • Positive: 来往密切 (láiwǎng mìqiè) - to have close contact.
  • Neutral/Negative: 来往很少 (láiwǎng hěn shǎo) - to have very little contact.
  • Warning: 不要和那样的人来往。 (Bú yào hé nàyàng de rén láiwǎng.) - Don't associate with that kind of person.

• Example 1:
  • 我和他已经很多年不来往了。
  • Pinyin: Wǒ hé tā yǐjīng hěn duō nián bù láiwǎng le.
  • English: He and I haven't been in contact for many years.
  • Analysis: This shows the verb usage to describe a complete stop in social interaction. The `了 (le)` indicates a change of state.
• Example 2:
  • 他们两家来往很密切，像一家人一样。
  • Pinyin: Tāmen liǎng jiā láiwǎng hěn mìqiè, xiàng yī jiā rén yīyàng.
  • English: Their two families have very close contact, just like one big family.
  • Analysis: Here, `密切 (mìqiè)` is a common adverb used with `来往` to describe a strong, positive relationship.
• Example 3:
  • 作为邻居，我们应该多来往。
  • Pinyin: Zuòwéi línjū, wǒmen yīnggāi duō láiwǎng.
  • English: As neighbors, we should interact with each other more.
  • Analysis: This highlights the social expectation of maintaining good relationships with those around you. `多 (duō)` means “more.”
• Example 4:
  • 父母总是告诉我，不要和不三不四的人来往。
  • Pinyin: Fùmǔ zǒngshì gàosù wǒ, bú yào hé bù sān bù sì de rén láiwǎng.
  • English: My parents always tell me not to associate with shady people.
  • Analysis: This is a classic example of using `来往` in a warning or prohibition. `不三不四 (bù sān bù sì)` is an idiom for “dubious” or “shady.”
• Example 5:
  • 在这个城市，我没有什么亲戚可以来往。
  • Pinyin: Zài zhège chéngshì, wǒ méiyǒu shénme qīnqi kěyǐ láiwǎng.
  • English: In this city, I don't have any relatives to visit or interact with.
  • Analysis: This sentence expresses a sense of loneliness or lack of a social support network.
• Example 6:
  • 我们公司和那家公司有生意上的来往。
  • Pinyin: Wǒmen gōngsī hé nà jiā gōngsī yǒu shēngyi shàng de láiwǎng.
  • English: Our company has business dealings with that company.
  • Analysis: This is the noun form used in a business context. `生意上的 (shēngyi shàng de)` specifies the type of dealings.
• Example 7:
  • 自从他搬家以后，我们的来往就少了。
  • Pinyin: Zìcóng tā bānjiā yǐhòu, wǒmen de láiwǎng jiù shǎo le.
  • English: Since he moved, our contact has become less frequent.
  • Analysis: This uses `来往` as a noun (“our contact”) to describe the decrease in interaction.
• Example 8:
  • 你还和大学同学有来往吗？
  • Pinyin: Nǐ hái hé dàxué tóngxué yǒu láiwǎng ma?
  • English: Do you still keep in touch with your university classmates?
  • Analysis: A very common question to ask about someone's social life. `有来往 (yǒu láiwǎng)` means “to have contact.”
• Example 9:
  • 路上来往的车辆非常多，开车要小心。
  • Pinyin: Lùshang láiwǎng de chēliàng fēicháng duō, kāichē yào xiǎoxīn.
  • English: There are a lot of vehicles coming and going on the road, be careful when you drive.
  • Analysis: This is a rare, literal use of `来往` to mean physical “coming and going.” It's good to know but less common in conversation than the social meaning.
• Example 10:
  • 这封信是他俩早期来往的证据。
  • Pinyin: Zhè fēng xìn shì tā liǎ zǎoqī láiwǎng de zhèngjù.
  • English: This letter is evidence of their early correspondence.
  • Analysis: Here, `来往` is a noun referring to the exchange of letters or communication, a more abstract form of “dealings.”

The most common point of confusion for learners is the difference between 来往 (láiwǎng) and 交往 (jiāowǎng).

• 来往 (láiwǎng): General contact, dealings, association. It can be with friends, neighbors, companies, or even countries. The emotional depth is not specified. You can have `来往` with a business partner you don't personally like.
• 交往 (jiāowǎng): More personal, intentional, and often implies a deeper connection. It's used for making friends and, most importantly, for dating.
  • Key phrase: 他们在交往。(Tāmen zài jiāowǎng.) - They are dating. You would never say 他们在来往 to mean this.

Common Mistake: Using `交往` for non-personal relationships.

• Incorrect: 我的公司和苹果公司交往很频繁。
• Correct: 我的公司和苹果公司来往很频繁。(Wǒ de gōngsī hé Píngguǒ gōngsī láiwǎng hěn pínfán.) - My company has frequent dealings with Apple.

Common Mistake: Thinking `不来往` is a light statement.

• While “we don't keep in touch” can be casual in English, saying `我们不来往了 (wǒmen bù láiwǎng le)` in Chinese is quite definitive and implies a relationship has ended, often due to a disagreement or simply drifting apart completely.

• 交往 (jiāowǎng) - To associate with, but more personal and is the standard term for “to date.”
• 关系 (guānxi) - The network of social relationships and influence that is built and maintained through actions like `来往`.
• 联系 (liánxì) - To contact, to get in touch. Refers to the specific act of communication (a call, a text), whereas `来往` refers to the overall state of the relationship.
• 打交道 (dǎ jiāodào) - To deal with someone. Often implies a necessary, sometimes challenging, interaction, like dealing with a difficult client or a government official.
• 走动 (zǒudòng) - A colloquial synonym for `来往` that literally means “to walk about.” It emphasizes physically visiting each other's homes. (e.g., `有空多走动走动` - Let's visit each other more when we have time.)
• 应酬 (yìngchou) - Socializing for business or social obligations, often involving dinners and drinking. A formal and sometimes burdensome type of `来往`.
• 互动 (hùdòng) - Interaction. A more modern and broad term that can apply to people, media, or online engagement.