dài lǜ màozi: 戴绿帽子 - To be Cuckolded (for a man's partner to be unfaithful)

• Keywords: dai lu maozi, 戴绿帽子, cuckold in Chinese, what does green hat mean in China, Chinese slang for cheating, wearing a green hat meaning, infidelity in Chinese culture, 被戴绿帽子, Chinese cultural taboos.
• Summary: In Chinese, the phrase 戴绿帽子 (dài lǜ màozi) literally translates to “wearing a green hat.” However, its actual meaning is a powerful and highly negative cultural idiom that means a man has been cuckolded or cheated on by his wife or girlfriend. Understanding this term is crucial for navigating Chinese social customs, especially gift-giving, as giving a man a green hat is a major cultural taboo. This page explores the historical origins, cultural significance, and modern usage of this infamous Chinese phrase.

• Pinyin (with tone marks): dài lǜ màozi
• Part of Speech: Verb Phrase / Idiom
• HSK Level: N/A
• Concise Definition: For a man to be cheated on by his female romantic partner.
• In a Nutshell: This is one of the most well-known and potent insults in the Chinese language. It describes the ultimate shame for a man: his wife or girlfriend's infidelity. The image of him “wearing a green hat” signifies to everyone that he has been cuckolded. It's not just about the act of cheating; it's about the public humiliation and loss of social standing (face) that comes with it.

• 戴 (dài): To wear, put on (typically for accessories like hats, glasses, scarves, or gloves).
• 绿 (lǜ): The color green.
• 帽子 (màozi): Hat or cap.

The literal meaning, “to wear a green hat,” has no connection to its modern idiomatic usage. The phrase's power comes entirely from its deep-seated cultural and historical associations.

The association between green hats and infidelity is deeply rooted in Chinese history, though the exact origin is debated. The most popular theory dates back to the Yuan Dynasty (1271–1368), when regulations supposedly required the male relatives of prostitutes to wear green hats or headscarves to publicly identify them. This created a lasting social stigma, linking green headwear to a man whose wife was promiscuous or unfaithful. This concept is inextricably linked to the cultural value of 面子 (miànzi) - “face” or social dignity. For a man to be “given a green hat” is a catastrophic loss of face. It implies he is weak, undesirable, and unable to control his own household, which are all sources of immense public and private shame in traditional Chinese social structures. Western Comparison: The direct English equivalent is “to be cuckolded.” However, `戴绿帽子` is far more common in everyday Chinese conversation and pop culture than “cuckold” is in English. Furthermore, there is no Western equivalent where a specific color of clothing carries such a powerful and specific negative meaning. While green can be associated with envy in English (“green with envy”), in China, the combination of green + hat specifically signifies infidelity and nothing else.

`戴绿帽子` is an informal and colloquial term. It is used in gossip, jokes (often cruel ones), online memes, and dramatic scenes in movies and TV shows.

• Connotation: It is always highly negative and insulting. You would never say this directly to someone's face unless you wanted to start a serious conflict. It is most often used when talking about a third person.
• Common Structure: The phrase is very frequently used in the passive voice with `被 (bèi)`, which emphasizes that this embarrassing status was forced upon the man. The structure is `(Someone) 被戴绿帽子了 ((Someone) bèi dài lǜ màozi le)`, meaning “He was cuckolded.”
• Active Structure: It can also be used in an active structure where the unfaithful partner is the subject: `她给他戴了绿帽子 (Tā gěi tā dài le lǜ màozi)`, meaning “She cheated on him” (literally, “She gave him a green hat to wear”).

• Example 1:
  • 大家都说，老李被戴绿帽子了。
  • Pinyin: Dàjiā dōu shuō, Lǎo Lǐ bèi dài lǜ màozi le.
  • English: Everyone is saying that Old Li was cuckolded.
  • Analysis: This is a typical example of gossip. The passive `被 (bèi)` structure is used, placing the focus on the shame experienced by Old Li.
• Example 2:
  • 他最害怕的事情就是被戴绿帽子。
  • Pinyin: Tā zuì hàipà de shìqing jiùshì bèi dài lǜ màozi.
  • English: The thing he fears the most is being cheated on by his girlfriend/wife.
  • Analysis: This sentence uses the phrase to describe a man's deep-seated fear, highlighting the cultural weight of the concept.
• Example 3:
  • 你是不是想给我戴绿帽子？
  • Pinyin: Nǐ shì bu shì xiǎng gěi wǒ dài lǜ màozi?
  • English: Are you trying to cheat on me?
  • Analysis: A very direct and confrontational question from a man to his partner. The structure `给 (gěi) + someone + 戴绿帽子` means “to cuckold someone.”
• Example 4:
  • 他发现妻子不忠后，觉得自己真的戴了绿帽子，非常丢脸。
  • Pinyin: Tā fāxiàn qīzi bùzhōng hòu, juéde zìjǐ zhēn de dài le lǜ màozi, fēicháng diūliǎn.
  • English: After he discovered his wife's infidelity, he felt that he was truly cuckolded and lost a lot of face.
  • Analysis: This sentence explicitly connects `戴绿帽子` with the feeling of losing face (`丢脸 (diūliǎn)`).
• Example 5:
  • 开玩笑也别说他戴绿帽子，他会跟你急的。
  • Pinyin: Kāi wánxiào yě bié shuō tā dài lǜ màozi, tā huì gēn nǐ jí de.
  • English: Don't even joke that he's been cuckolded, he'll get really angry with you.
  • Analysis: This serves as a warning about the severity of the term. It's not a light-hearted matter.
• Example 6:
  • 那个电视剧里的男主角最后发现自己被戴了绿帽子。
  • Pinyin: Nàge diànshìjù lǐ de nánzhǔjué zuìhòu fāxiàn zìjǐ bèi dài le lǜ màozi.
  • English: The male protagonist in that TV drama finally discovered he had been cuckolded.
  • Analysis: Demonstrates the term's common use in popular media to create dramatic tension.
• Example 7:
  • 我是绝不会给你戴绿帽子的，请你相信我！
  • Pinyin: Wǒ shì jué bù huì gěi nǐ dài lǜ màozi de, qǐng nǐ xiāngxìn wǒ!
  • English: I would absolutely never cheat on you, please believe me!
  • Analysis: A woman reassuring her partner, using the idiom to show she understands the gravity of infidelity.
• Example 8:
  • 很多男人因为害怕戴绿帽子而变得很多疑。
  • Pinyin: Hěn duō nánrén yīnwèi hàipà dài lǜ màozi ér biànde hěn duōyí.
  • English: A lot of men become very suspicious because they are afraid of being cuckolded.
  • Analysis: This highlights the psychological impact of this cultural concept on relationships.
• Example 9:
  • 他宁愿离婚，也不愿意戴绿帽子。
  • Pinyin: Tā nìngyuàn líhūn, yě bù yuànyì dài lǜ màozi.
  • English: He would rather get a divorce than be a cuckold.
  • Analysis: Shows that the shame of being cuckolded is often seen as worse than the failure of the marriage itself.
• Example 10:
  • 送中国男人礼物时，千万别送绿帽子！
  • Pinyin: Sòng Zhōngguó nánrén lǐwù shí, qiānwàn bié sòng lǜ màozi!
  • English: When giving a gift to a Chinese man, absolutely do not give him a green hat!
  • Analysis: This is a crucial piece of practical advice. The literal object, a `绿帽子 (lǜ màozi)`, is just as taboo as the metaphorical phrase.

• The Ultimate Gift-Giving Faux Pas: The most common mistake a foreigner can make is giving a Chinese man a green-colored hat as a gift. This is a severe cultural blunder. Even if your intentions are innocent, the recipient will likely be offended or deeply embarrassed. Avoid this at all costs.
• Specificity is Key: The taboo is extremely specific to green hats for men. Other green items (shirts, pants, shoes, cars) are perfectly fine. Green is generally a positive color in China, associated with nature, health, and life. The negative meaning is only activated when combined with a hat.
• Gendered Term: This term is exclusively used for men whose female partner cheats. It cannot be used to describe a woman whose husband is unfaithful. The general, gender-neutral term for having an affair is 出轨 (chūguǐ).

• 出轨 (chūguǐ) - The standard, gender-neutral term for having an extramarital affair; “to cheat.” Literally “to go off the rails.”
• 小三 (xiǎosān) - Popular slang for “the other woman” in an affair, the “homewrecker.”
• 劈腿 (pītuǐ) - Slang for “to two-time” or date multiple people at once. Literally “to split the legs.”
• 面子 (miànzi) - The concept of social standing, reputation, and dignity. Being `戴绿帽子` is a major cause of losing face.
• 王八 (wángbā) - A strong insult, often translated as “tortoise.” It's a general-purpose insult but is historically linked to cuckoldry, as tortoises were once thought to be all female and had to mate with snakes, making the male tortoise a symbol of a cuckold.
• 隔壁老王 (gébì lǎo wáng) - “Old Wang next door.” A modern internet meme and cultural trope representing the archetypal neighbor who is secretly having an affair with your wife. He's the one who “gives out the green hats.”