qǔ: 娶 - To Marry (a woman), To Take a Wife

• Keywords: 娶, qǔ, Chinese marry, take a wife, get married in Chinese, marry a woman Chinese, 嫁 vs 娶, Chinese wedding, Chinese marriage culture, HSK 4
• Summary: Learn the essential Chinese verb 娶 (qǔ), which means “to marry” or “to take a wife” specifically from a man's perspective. This page explores the character's origins, its deep-rooted cultural significance in traditional family structures, and how it contrasts with its female counterpart, 嫁 (jià). Discover how to use 娶 in modern conversation through numerous practical examples, and avoid common mistakes English speakers make when discussing marriage in Chinese.

• Pinyin (with tone marks): qǔ
• Part of Speech: Verb
• HSK Level: HSK 4
• Concise Definition: (For a man) to take a wife; to marry (a woman).
• In a Nutshell: 娶 (qǔ) is the specific action a man takes when he gets married. It literally means to “take a wife.” Unlike the general English verb “to marry,” this term is gender-specific and directional. It reflects the traditional Chinese custom where a man brings a bride into his own family. It is the direct counterpart to 嫁 (jià), the verb a woman uses to describe getting married (marrying out to a man's family).

• 娶 (qǔ) is a phono-semantic compound character, meaning it's a combination of a meaning part and a sound part.
• 女 (nǚ): This is the semantic radical on the bottom, meaning “woman” or “female.” It tells you the character's meaning is related to a woman.
• 取 (qǔ): This is the phonetic component on top, meaning “to take” or “to get.” It gives the character its sound (qǔ) and also contributes directly to the meaning.
• Combined Meaning: The character vividly paints a picture of its meaning: to take (取) a woman (女) as one's wife.

The existence of 娶 (qǔ) and its counterpart 嫁 (jià) reveals a core concept of traditional Chinese society: patrilineal family structure. In this structure, the family line, name, and inheritance traditionally pass through the male side. When a couple marries, the woman leaves her own family to join her husband's. Therefore, from the man's perspective, he is “taking” (娶) a bride into his family to continue the lineage. From the woman's perspective, she is “marrying out” (嫁) to a new home (家). This is fundamentally different from the modern Western concept of marriage, where “to marry” is a gender-neutral verb. In English, “He married her” and “She married him” describe the same mutual action. In Chinese, the correct phrasing reflects the traditional roles: 他娶了她 (tā qǔ le tā) and 她嫁给了他 (tā jià gěi le tā). While these traditional notions are evolving, especially in urban China, the language itself preserves this cultural framework. Understanding 娶 is not just about learning a word; it's about understanding a foundational perspective on family and marriage in Chinese culture.

娶 (qǔ) is a standard, common verb used in everyday conversations, discussions about relationships, and social commentary. It's neither overly formal nor slang.

• Talking about Marriage Plans: It's frequently used when discussing a man's intention or plan to get married. For example, “他明年想娶她” (He wants to marry her next year).
• Stating a Fact: It is used to state the fact that a man has married someone. “他娶了一个老师” (He married a teacher).
• Social Expectations: The term is often at the center of discussions about social pressure for men to get married and start a family, a concept known as “娶妻生子” (qǔ qī shēng zǐ) - marry a wife and have children.

• Example 1:
  • 他终于娶了自己心爱的姑娘。
  • Pinyin: Tā zhōngyú qǔ le zìjǐ xīn'ài de gūniang.
  • English: He finally married the girl he loved.
  • Analysis: A straightforward sentence describing the completion of the action of marrying.
• Example 2:
  • 他打算明年娶他女朋友回家。
  • Pinyin: Tā dǎsuàn míngnián qǔ tā nǚpéngyou huí jiā.
  • English: He plans to marry his girlfriend and bring her home next year.
  • Analysis: The phrase “回家” (huí jiā - return home) emphasizes the cultural concept of the man bringing the wife into his family's home.
• Example 3:
  • 在中国，男人娶老婆的压力很大。
  • Pinyin: Zài Zhōngguó, nánrén qǔ lǎopó de yālì hěn dà.
  • English: In China, the pressure for men to get married is very high.
  • Analysis: This sentence uses 娶 to talk about the societal expectation placed on men. “老婆” (lǎopó) is a common colloquial term for “wife.”
• Example 4:
  • 娶一个好妻子是很多男人的梦想。
  • Pinyin: Qǔ yí ge hǎo qīzi shì hěn duō nánrén de mèngxiǎng.
  • English: Marrying a good wife is the dream of many men.
  • Analysis: Here, 娶 acts as a verb in a clause that functions as the subject of the sentence.
• Example 5:
  • 你哥哥什么时候娶媳妇啊？
  • Pinyin: Nǐ gēge shénme shíhou qǔ xífù a?
  • English: When is your older brother getting married? (Literally: When is your older brother taking a wife?)
  • Analysis: This is a very common and casual question one might ask about a male friend or relative. “媳妇” (xífù) can mean both “wife” and “daughter-in-law.”
• Example 6:
  • 他发誓这辈子非她不娶。
  • Pinyin: Tā fāshì zhè bèizi fēi tā bù qǔ.
  • English: He vowed that if it wasn't her, he wouldn't marry anyone in this lifetime.
  • Analysis: This is a strong, romantic declaration using the popular “非…不…” (fēi…bù…) structure, meaning “will not… unless…”
• Example 7:
  • 只要你真心爱我，就算你没钱我也愿意让你娶。
  • Pinyin: Zhǐyào nǐ zhēnxīn ài wǒ, jiùsuàn nǐ méi qián wǒ yě yuànyì ràng nǐ qǔ.
  • English: As long as you truly love me, even if you don't have money, I'm willing to let you marry me.
  • Analysis: This sentence is from a woman's perspective, using “让” (ràng - to let/allow) to permit the man's action of 娶.
• Example 8:
  • 他为了娶她，准备了很丰厚的彩礼。
  • Pinyin: Tā wèile qǔ tā, zhǔnbèi le hěn fēnghòu de cǎilǐ.
  • English: In order to marry her, he prepared a very generous bride price.
  • Analysis: This sentence connects the act of 娶 with the cultural practice of “彩礼” (cǎilǐ), the betrothal gift from the groom's family to the bride's.
• Example 9:
  • 老王娶了一个比他小二十岁的女人。
  • Pinyin: Lǎo Wáng qǔ le yí ge bǐ tā xiǎo èrshí suì de nǚrén.
  • English: Old Wang married a woman twenty years younger than him.
  • Analysis: A simple descriptive sentence about a marriage, clearly indicating the subject (a man) and object (a woman).
• Example 10:
  • 娶妻生子是传统观念里男人重要的责任。
  • Pinyin: Qǔ qī shēng zǐ shì chuántǒng guānniàn lǐ nánrén zhòngyào de zérèn.
  • English: Marrying a wife and having children is an important responsibility for men in traditional concepts.
  • Analysis: This sentence shows 娶 as part of a classic four-character idiom that encapsulates a man's traditional role in society.

• The #1 Mistake: Gender Misuse. An English speaker's most common error is to use 娶 for a woman or for a couple. This is always incorrect.
  • Incorrect: ~~她娶了他。~~ (Tā qǔ le tā.)
  • Correct (Woman's perspective): 她嫁给了他。 (Tā jià gěi le tā.)
  • Correct (Neutral/Couple's perspective): 他们结婚了。 (Tāmen jiéhūn le.)
• 娶 (qǔ) vs. 结婚 (jiéhūn): Think of 娶 as “to take a wife” and 结婚 as “to get married.”
  • Use 娶 when the focus is on the man's action. (e.g., 他想娶她 - He wants to marry her.)
  • Use 结婚 when referring to the couple's mutual action or the event itself. (e.g., 他们要结婚了 - They are getting married.)
• False Friend: “To Marry”. While 娶 translates to “to marry,” it is not a direct equivalent. The English verb “to marry” is gender-neutral, whereas 娶 is exclusively used by or for a male subject. Always remember to consider the perspective: who is doing the action? If it's the man, 娶 is appropriate. If it's the woman or the couple, you need a different word.

• 嫁 (jià) - The direct female counterpart to 娶; (for a woman) to marry.
• 结婚 (jiéhūn) - The neutral, and most common, verb for “to get married.”
• 婚姻 (hūnyīn) - The noun for “marriage” as an institution or state of being.
• 婚礼 (hūnlǐ) - The noun for “wedding ceremony.”
• 新郎 (xīnláng) - Groom; the man who performs the action of 娶.
• 新娘 (xīnniáng) - Bride; the woman who is the object of 娶.
• 媳妇 (xífù) - A colloquial term for wife; also means daughter-in-law. The person who is “娶”-ed into a family.
• 彩礼 (cǎilǐ) - Bride price; a traditional gift from the groom's family to the bride's, often seen as a prerequisite for a man to be able to 娶 his bride.
• 娶妻生子 (qǔ qī shēng zǐ) - A four-character idiom meaning “marry a wife and have children,” encapsulating the traditional expectation for a man.