cājiānérguò: 擦肩而过 - To Brush Past; Missed Connection; Near Miss

• Keywords: cā jiān ér guò, 擦肩而过, brush past someone, missed connection, missed opportunity Chinese, Chinese idiom for fate, 缘分 (yuánfèn), near miss, let slip by, ships passing in the night, Chinese chengyu.
• Summary: Discover the meaning of the beautiful Chinese idiom (chengyu) 擦肩而过 (cā jiān ér guò), which literally means “to brush shoulders and pass by.” This versatile and poignant phrase is used to describe everything from a literal 'near miss' with someone on the street to the profound feeling of a 'missed connection' or a 'missed opportunity' in love, career, or life. This entry explores its deep connection to the Chinese cultural concept of 缘分 (yuánfèn) and shows you how to use it in modern conversation.

• Pinyin (with tone marks): cā jiān ér guò
• Part of Speech: Chengyu (成语) / Verb Phrase
• HSK Level: HSK 6
• Concise Definition: To pass by someone so closely as to brush shoulders, often used figuratively for a missed opportunity or a brief, fated but unfulfilled encounter.
• In a Nutshell: Imagine walking down a busy street and passing so close to a stranger that your shoulders almost touch. That physical image is the literal meaning of 擦肩而过. However, its real power lies in its figurative use. It captures that wistful, slightly melancholy feeling of being incredibly close to something or someone—a potential soulmate, a dream job, a once-in-a-lifetime chance—only to have it slip away at the last moment. It's the perfect phrase for a “what if” moment.

• 擦 (cā): To rub, to wipe, or to brush against. It implies a light, brief contact.
• 肩 (jiān): Shoulder.
• 而 (ér): A classical conjunction that connects the two verbs, meaning “and” or “and then.” It creates a sense of sequence: first you brush, then you pass.
• 过 (guò): To pass by, to cross, to go past.

When combined, 擦肩而过 (cā jiān ér guò) literally paints a picture: “to brush (擦) the shoulder (肩) and then (而) pass by (过).” This vivid, physical action forms the basis for its powerful metaphorical meanings.

The soul of 擦肩而过 is deeply intertwined with the Chinese concept of 缘分 (yuánfèn), a type of fate or destiny that connects people. 缘分 dictates who you meet in your life and the nature of your relationship. 擦肩而过 represents a very specific, and often tragic, type of 缘分. It means you had just enough fate to meet or cross paths, but not enough to form a lasting connection. It's the universe bringing two people to the same point in space and time for a fleeting second, only to have them continue on their separate ways.

• Comparison to Western Culture: The closest English phrase is “ships passing in the night” or a “missed connection.” However, these Western concepts usually imply coincidence, chance, or simple bad timing. 擦肩而过 is different because it carries the weight of destiny. It's not just random; it's a statement about the limited amount of 缘分 you shared with that person or opportunity. This gives the term a much more philosophical and poignant feel than its English counterparts.

This chengyu is very common in both written and spoken Chinese, especially when expressing a sense of wistfulness or regret.

• Romantic Contexts: This is its most popular usage. It's a staple in love songs, dramas, and novels to describe two people who almost got together but didn't. It can refer to a past relationship that failed or a crush you never had the courage to approach.
• Missed Opportunities: It's frequently used for non-romantic situations as well. You can use it to talk about a dream job you narrowly missed out on, a competition you almost won, or any great chance that slipped through your fingers.
• Connotation and Formality: The connotation is almost always one of melancholy, wistfulness, or slight regret. It is suitable for both informal conversation with friends and more formal or literary writing. It adds a touch of poetic flair to your language.

• Example 1:
  • 我们在拥挤的地铁站里擦肩而过，谁也没有认出谁。
  • Pinyin: Wǒmen zài yōngjǐ de dìtiě zhàn lǐ cā jiān ér guò, shéi yě méiyǒu rèn chū shéi.
  • English: We brushed past each other in the crowded subway station, and neither of us recognized the other.
  • Analysis: This is a fairly literal use of the phrase, but it still carries a sense of a “missed moment.” The context implies they knew each other, making the non-recognition poignant.
• Example 2:
  • 我觉得我和那个工作机会擦肩而过了，真可惜。
  • Pinyin: Wǒ juédé wǒ hé nàgè gōngzuò jīhuì cā jiān ér guò le, zhēn kěxī.
  • English: I feel like I just had a near miss with that job opportunity, it's such a pity.
  • Analysis: A classic example of using the idiom for a missed opportunity. The focus is on the feeling of being “so close” to getting the job.
• Example 3:
  • 也许我们的缘分，就只够一次擦肩而过。
  • Pinyin: Yěxǔ wǒmen de yuánfèn, jiù zhǐ gòu yīcì cā jiān ér guò.
  • English: Perhaps our shared destiny was only enough for a single passing glance.
  • Analysis: This sentence is very poetic and philosophical, directly linking the phrase to 缘分 (yuánfèn). It's a common sentiment in romantic contexts, expressing a beautiful sadness.
• Example 4:
  • 他因为一秒之差与金牌擦肩而过。
  • Pinyin: Tā yīnwèi yī miǎo zhī chā yǔ jīnpái cā jiān ér guò.
  • English: He missed the gold medal by a mere second. (Literally: He brushed past the gold medal because of a one-second difference.)
  • Analysis: This shows how the phrase can be used for competitions. It vividly portrays the athlete's proximity to victory.
• Example 5:
  • 如果你当初勇敢一点，你们就不会擦肩而过了。
  • Pinyin: Rúguǒ nǐ dāngchū yǒnggǎn yīdiǎn, nǐmen jiù bùhuì cā jiān ér guò le.
  • English: If you had been a bit braver back then, you two wouldn't have just passed each other by.
  • Analysis: Here, the phrase implies a preventable missed connection, adding a layer of personal regret rather than just blaming fate.
• Example 6:
  • 看着她和别人在一起，我才明白我们已经擦肩而过。
  • Pinyin: Kànzhe tā hé biérén zài yīqǐ, wǒ cái míngbái wǒmen yǐjīng cā jiān ér guò.
  • English: Seeing her with someone else, I finally understood that we had missed our chance.
  • Analysis: This sentence uses the phrase to signify the definitive end of a potential relationship. The “moment” has passed.
• Example 7:
  • 每天有无数人与我们擦肩而过，但只有少数人会停下脚步。
  • Pinyin: Měitiān yǒu wúshù rén yǔ wǒmen cā jiān ér guò, dàn zhǐyǒu shǎoshù rén huì tíng xià jiǎobù.
  • English: Every day, countless people brush past us, but only a few stop.
  • Analysis: A philosophical observation about life and human connection, using the idiom in its most general sense.
• Example 8:
  • 我差点就买到那套房子了，最后还是擦肩而过。
  • Pinyin: Wǒ chàdiǎn jiù mǎi dào nà tào fángzi le, zuìhòu háishì cā jiān ér guò.
  • English: I almost bought that apartment, but in the end, the opportunity slipped by.
  • Analysis: A practical, everyday example of a major missed opportunity.
• Example 9:
  • 难道我们这辈子只能擦肩而过吗？
  • Pinyin: Nándào wǒmen zhè bèizi zhǐ néng cā jiān ér guò ma?
  • English: Is it possible that in this lifetime, we are only fated to pass each other by?
  • Analysis: This is a dramatic, emotional question often found in movies or novels, highlighting the unwillingness to accept a “missed connection.”
• Example 10:
  • 今天在咖啡店看到了一个很可爱的人，可惜我们只是擦肩而过。
  • Pinyin: Jīntiān zài kāfēi diàn kàn dàole yīgè hěn kě'ài de rén, kěxī wǒmen zhǐshì cā jiān ér guò.
  • English: I saw a really cute person at the coffee shop today, but unfortunately, we just brushed past each other.
  • Analysis: A perfect example of modern, informal usage, something one might post on social media. It captures the fleeting nature of modern urban encounters.

• Not Just “To Miss”: A common mistake is to use 擦肩而过 as a simple synonym for 错过 (cuòguò - to miss). 擦肩而过 specifically implies that you were very close to the person or opportunity. You wouldn't say you “brushed past” a bus that was scheduled for 8 AM if you woke up at 9 AM. You would, however, use it if you ran to the bus stop just as the bus was pulling away.
  • Incorrect: 我睡过头了，所以和我的航班擦肩而过。(Wǒ shuìguòtóule, suǒyǐ hé wǒ de hángbān cā jiān ér guò.)
  • Correct: 我因为堵车，最后和我的航班擦肩而过。(Wǒ yīnwèi dǔchē, zuìhòu hé wǒ de hángbān cā jiān ér guò.) (Because of a traffic jam, I had a near miss with my flight.)
• “Near Miss” vs. “Near Hit”: Be careful not to confuse this with the English “near miss” that refers to a narrowly avoided accident. 擦肩而过 is about opportunities and encounters, not about almost crashing your car. It has no connotation of physical danger.

• 缘分 (yuánfèn): The core cultural concept of fate or destiny that connects people. 擦肩而过 is often seen as a sign of having some, but not enough, 缘分.
• 错过 (cuòguò): A more general verb meaning “to miss” or “to let slip.” 擦肩而过 is a more poetic and specific type of 错过.
• 失之交臂 (shī zhī jiāo bì): A chengyu meaning “to lose something when it's already at your fingertips.” Very similar to the figurative meaning of 擦肩而过 but often used for more tangible goals, like a championship or a promotion.
• 有缘无分 (yǒu yuán wú fèn): “To have the fate to meet, but not the destiny to be together.” This phrase perfectly describes the sentiment behind a romantic 擦肩而过 situation.
• 遗憾 (yíhàn): Regret; a pity. This is the primary emotion associated with 擦肩而过.
• 一面之缘 (yī miàn zhī yuán): The fate of meeting only once. Describes a brief encounter with no follow-up, a possible outcome of a 擦肩而过 moment if you actually interact for a second.
• 相遇 (xiāngyù): To meet; to encounter. A neutral term. 擦肩而过 is a special kind of 相遇 that is fleeting and unfulfilled.