chī dòufu: 吃豆腐 - To Eat Tofu; To Flirt, To Take Advantage Of (Sexually)

Keywords: 吃豆腐, chidoufu, chi doufu, what does chi doufu mean, eat tofu meaning, Chinese slang for flirting, Chinese sexual harassment, taking advantage of someone in Chinese, groping in Chinese, Chinese culture.

Summary: “吃豆腐” (chī dòufu) is a hugely important Chinese slang phrase that literally means “to eat tofu.” However, its modern, colloquial meaning is to flirt with, tease, or sexually harass someone—ranging from light, playful banter to unwanted physical contact like groping. Understanding this term is crucial for learners to avoid misinterpretation and to grasp the cultural nuances of personal boundaries and inappropriate behavior in China. This entry breaks down its origins, modern usage, and how to differentiate its meaning from a simple meal.

Pinyin (with tone marks): chī dòufu

Part of Speech: Verb Phrase

HSK Level: N/A

Concise Definition: Literally, “to eat tofu”; figuratively, to take advantage of someone sexually, often through unwanted touching or flirtatious talk.

In a Nutshell: While you can literally “eat tofu,” 99% of the time you hear “吃豆腐” (chī dòufu) in conversation, it's not about food. It's a widely used slang term to describe someone, usually a man, making an inappropriate advance on a woman. The severity can range from a cheesy pickup line to a serious accusation of groping on a crowded subway. The key is that the action is unwelcome and benefits the perpetrator.

吃 (chī): A simple and common character meaning “to eat.”

豆 (dòu): This character means “bean,” most commonly referring to soybeans.

腐 (fǔ): This character means “to rot” or “curdle.” In this context, it refers to the curdling process that turns soy milk into tofu.

The literal combination of the characters, “eat bean-curd,” is straightforward. The term's power and importance come entirely from its culturally evolved, figurative meaning.

The most popular origin story for “吃豆腐” dates back to the Han Dynasty. A tofu shop owner's wife was famously beautiful and flirtatious. Many men would visit the shop not just for tofu, but for a chance to interact and flirt with her. They would make excuses to linger, such as touching her hand when paying. Consequently, when local wives saw their husbands heading out, they would sarcastically ask, “Are you going to eat tofu again?” The phrase became a euphemism for dallying with an attractive woman.

Over time, the meaning shifted from playful flirting to encompass more negative and predatory behavior. Tofu is soft, white, and yielding, which some linguists believe created a metaphorical link to a woman's skin or perceived vulnerability. Today, the term carries a strong negative connotation and is almost always used to describe an unwanted advance.

Accusations: This is the most common usage. It's used to call out or describe inappropriate behavior, especially in public spaces like buses, subways, or crowded streets. A woman might shout at a man who touched her, or tell her friends about it later.

Joking and Banter: Among close friends, it can be used humorously. For example, if a male friend gets to sit next to a pretty girl, his friends might jokingly accuse him of getting a chance to “吃豆腐.” This usage is highly contextual and should be avoided by learners until they have a strong grasp of social dynamics.

Media and Social Media: The term is frequently used in news headlines, social media posts, and TV dramas to discuss incidents of sexual harassment or celebrities involved in scandals.

Connotation: The connotation is almost always negative. The person being “eaten” is a victim. The person “eating” is a perpetrator. Even when used jokingly, it frames the action as taking an unfair advantage.

Mistake 1: Taking it Literally. Never assume “吃豆腐” is about food unless the context is explicitly a kitchen, restaurant, or grocery store. In 99% of social situations, it's the figurative meaning.

Mistake 2: Using it to Flirt. Do not use this phrase to flirt with someone. Saying “我想吃你豆腐 (Wǒ xiǎng chī nǐ dòufu)” does not mean “I want to flirt with you.” It sounds aggressive and creepy, like saying “I want to grope you.” The phrase is used to *describe* the action, usually by the victim or a witness, not to *propose* it.

Mistake 3: Underestimating its Severity. While it can describe minor verbal jokes, it is very often used for serious physical harassment. Always gauge the severity from the speaker's tone and the context. If a woman says it with an angry or upset expression, she is making a serious accusation.

占便宜 (zhàn piányi): To take advantage of someone. This is a much broader term that can refer to taking advantage financially, socially, or in any situation, not just sexually. “吃豆腐” is a specific type of “占便宜”.

性骚扰 (xìngsāorǎo): Sexual harassment. This is the formal, legal term you would see in laws, company policies, and serious news reports. “吃豆腐” is the everyday, colloquial equivalent.

色狼 (sèláng): Literally “color wolf.” A common slang term for a pervert or lecher. A “色狼” is a person who likes to “吃豆腐”.

咸猪手 (xiánzhūshǒu): Literally “salty pig hand.” This term refers specifically to the wandering, groping hand of a harasser. It's more graphic and physical than “吃豆腐”.

调戏 (tiáoxì): To take liberties with; to flirt with in an inappropriate or teasing way. This term feels a bit more literary or old-fashioned and strongly implies a power imbalance (e.g., a powerful man teasing a maidservant).

非礼 (fēilǐ): Indecent assault. A more formal and serious term for unwanted physical contact, often used in police reports.