jìchóu: 记仇 - To Hold a Grudge, To Bear a Grudge

• Keywords: jichou, jìchóu, 记仇, hold a grudge in Chinese, bear a grudge, Chinese word for resentful, unforgiving, remembering offenses, Chinese word for petty, Chinese culture, social harmony
• Summary: Learn the essential Chinese verb 记仇 (jìchóu), which means “to hold a grudge” or “to bear a grudge.” This page explores the deep cultural meaning of `jìchóu`, explaining why it's seen as a negative trait that disrupts social harmony. Discover how to use it in everyday conversation, from serious accusations to light-hearted jokes, with 10 practical example sentences. Understand its nuances compared to related concepts like revenge and learn why being the opposite, `大度 (dàdù)` or magnanimous, is a valued trait in Chinese culture.

• Pinyin (with tone marks): jì chóu
• Part of Speech: Verb (Verb-Object Construction)
• HSK Level: HSK 5 / Intermediate
• Concise Definition: To remember an offense or slight and harbor resentment against the person responsible.
• In a Nutshell: `记仇` is the act of keeping a mental record of someone's wrongdoing and letting it negatively affect your feelings and actions towards them long after the event. It implies an unwillingness to forgive and forget, and is generally seen as a petty or small-minded characteristic.

• 记 (jì): To remember, to record, to make a note of. Imagine jotting something down in a mental notebook so you don't forget it.
• 仇 (chóu): Enmity, hatred, a grudge, a foe. This character contains the “person” radical (亻), indicating it's related to human relationships.
• Combined Meaning: The characters literally combine to mean “to record hatred” or “to remember enmity.” The word vividly paints a picture of someone actively logging a grievance in their memory, ensuring it won't be forgotten.

In Chinese culture, which places a high value on group 和谐 (héxié) - harmony and maintaining social relationships, being a person who is `记仇` is a significant character flaw. It directly threatens the smooth functioning of a group, whether it's a family, a group of friends, or a team of colleagues. A person who is `记仇` is seen as 小气 (xiǎoqì) - petty and 心胸狭窄 (xīnxiōng xiázhǎi) - narrow-minded. The ideal, in contrast, is to be 大度 (dàdù) - magnanimous or 宽容 (kuānróng) - forgiving. Someone who is `dàdù` can easily overlook minor slights for the sake of the overall relationship and harmony. This contrasts with some Western individualistic perspectives where holding a grudge might be framed as “setting boundaries” or “not forgetting how you were treated.” While still not a positive trait, its primary offense in the West is the personal emotional burden it creates. In China, the primary offense of `记仇` is the social disruption it causes. It's an anti-social act because it prioritizes an individual's hurt feelings over the well-being of the collective.

`记仇` is a common word used in various situations, almost always with a negative connotation.

• Describing a Person's Character: It's often used to label someone as unforgiving. For example, “他这个人很记仇，你最好别得罪他。” (He's the type to hold a grudge, you'd better not offend him.)
• In a Joking or Teasing Manner: Friends might say this to each other in a light-hearted way. “你小心点儿，我可是很记仇的哦！” (Be careful, I hold grudges, you know!) This is usually said with a smile and implies the opposite, that the offense was minor and will be forgotten.
• During a Disagreement: It can be used as an accusation to call out someone's pettiness. “这点小事你也要记仇吗？” (Are you really going to hold a grudge over such a small thing?)

• Example 1:
  • 他这个人特别记仇，为了一件多年前的小事，到现在还不理我。
  • Pinyin: Tā zhège rén tèbié jìchóu, wèile yī jiàn duō nián qián de xiǎoshì, dào xiànzài hái bù lǐ wǒ.
  • English: He's the type of person who really holds a grudge; he still ignores me because of a small thing from many years ago.
  • Analysis: This is a straightforward description of someone's character, highlighting the long-term nature of `记仇`.
• Example 2:
  • 我只是跟你开个玩笑，你不会这么小气，真的记仇吧？
  • Pinyin: Wǒ zhǐshì gēn nǐ kāi gè wánxiào, nǐ bù huì zhème xiǎoqì, zhēn de jìchóu ba?
  • English: I was just joking with you, you're not going to be so petty and actually hold a grudge, are you?
  • Analysis: Here, `记仇` is used in a question to challenge someone's reaction, equating it with being `小气` (petty).
• Example 3:
  • 你放心，我不是个记仇的人，这件事过去了就过去了。
  • Pinyin: Nǐ fàngxīn, wǒ bùshì gè jìchóu de rén, zhè jiàn shì guòqù le jiù guòqù le.
  • English: Don't worry, I'm not a person who holds grudges. This matter is in the past.
  • Analysis: A reassuring statement used to smooth over a conflict and signal forgiveness.
• Example 4:
  • 有人说猫是一种很记仇的动物，如果你欺负了它，它会找机会报复。
  • Pinyin: Yǒurén shuō māo shì yī zhǒng hěn jìchóu de dòngwù, rúguǒ nǐ qīfù le tā, tā huì zhǎo jīhuì bàofù.
  • English: Some people say cats are very vengeful animals; if you bully one, it will find a chance to get revenge.
  • Analysis: `记仇` is often used anthropomorphically to describe animals that seem to remember mistreatment. Note the connection to `报复` (revenge).
• Example 5:
  • 君子坦荡荡，小人常记仇。
  • Pinyin: Jūnzǐ tǎn dàngdàng, xiǎorén cháng jìchóu.
  • English: A gentleman is open and poised, while a petty person often holds grudges.
  • Analysis: This is a classic saying that contrasts the ideal “gentleman” (君子) with the “petty person” (小人), making `记仇` a defining trait of the latter.
• Example 6:
  • 别看他平时笑嘻嘻的，其实他心里都给你记仇呢。
  • Pinyin: Bié kàn tā píngshí xiàoxīxī de, qíshí tā xīnlǐ dōu gěi nǐ jìchóu ne.
  • English: Don't be fooled by his usual smiling face; actually, he's holding a grudge against you in his heart.
  • Analysis: This sentence highlights the internal, hidden nature of `记仇`. It's a feeling someone harbors, not always an obvious action.
• Example 7:
  • 这点小事不值得记仇，我们还是好朋友。
  • Pinyin: Zhè diǎn xiǎoshì bù zhídé jìchóu, wǒmen háishì hǎo péngyǒu.
  • English: This small matter isn't worth holding a grudge over. We're still good friends.
  • Analysis: A common phrase used for reconciliation, emphasizing that the friendship is more important than the grievance.
• Example 8:
  • 他记仇的毛病再不改，会失去所有朋友的。
  • Pinyin: Tā jìchóu de máobìng zài bù gǎi, huì shīqù suǒyǒu péngyǒu de.
  • English: If he doesn't change his bad habit of holding grudges, he will lose all his friends.
  • Analysis: This labels `记仇` as a `毛病` (máobìng), a bad habit or shortcoming, with clear social consequences.
• Example 9:
  • 你别怪我记仇，是你当初做得太过分了。
  • Pinyin: Nǐ bié guài wǒ jìchóu, shì nǐ dāngchū zuò de tài guòfèn le.
  • English: Don't blame me for holding a grudge; it was you who went too far in the first place.
  • Analysis: This is a defensive use of the term, justifying one's own grudge-holding by pointing to the severity of the original offense.
• Example 10:
  • 老板心胸狭窄，特别记仇，你千万不要在会上反驳他。
  • Pinyin: Lǎobǎn xīnxiōng xiázhǎi, tèbié jìchóu, nǐ qiānwàn bùyào zài huì shàng fǎnbó tā.
  • English: The boss is narrow-minded and especially prone to holding grudges; you must not contradict him in the meeting.
  • Analysis: A practical piece of advice in a workplace context, linking `记仇` with the idiom `心胸狭窄` (narrow-minded).

• `记仇 (jìchóu)` vs. `报复 (bàofù)` - Grudge vs. Revenge:
  • `记仇` is the internal state of remembering a slight and feeling resentment. It's the emotional baggage.
  • `报复` is the external action of taking revenge.
  • You can `记仇` without ever taking `报复`. The first is a feeling; the second is an act. Someone who is `记仇` might `报复` you later.
• `记仇 (jìchóu)` vs. Remembering a Lesson:
  • `记仇` is emotional and personal. It's about the feeling of being wronged.
  • Simply remembering that a person is unreliable is a logical conclusion based on past experience.
  • Example:
    • Correct (Grudge): “他上次骗了我，我特别记仇。” (He lied to me last time, I'm really holding a grudge.) → This is emotional and personal.
    • Correct (Lesson): “他上次骗了我，我记得这件事，所以我不再相信他了。” (He lied to me last time, I remember this, so I don't trust him anymore.) → This is a logical consequence, not necessarily a grudge.
• Common Mistake: Do not use `记仇` to mean simply “to remember a negative event.” It must carry the meaning of “holding a grudge.”
  • Incorrect: ~~我记仇昨天的会议被取消了。~~ (I hold a grudge that yesterday's meeting was canceled.)
  • Correct: 我记得昨天的会议被取消了。 (I remember yesterday's meeting was canceled.)

• 报复 (bàofù) - To retaliate, to take revenge. The action that may result from `记仇`.
• 怨恨 (yuànhèn) - Resentment, to resent. A deeper, more bitter feeling of hatred that is a component of `记仇`.
• 大度 (dàdù) - Magnanimous, generous, broad-minded. The key personality trait that is the direct antonym of being `记仇`.
• 宽容 (kuānróng) - Tolerant, forgiving. The virtue of being able to forgive, which prevents one from `记仇`.
• 小气 (xiǎoqì) - Petty, stingy. A common adjective used to describe a person who is prone to `记仇`.
• 心胸狭窄 (xīnxiōng xiázhǎi) - Narrow-minded (idiom). A perfect description for someone who holds grudges over small things.
• 耿耿于怀 (gěnggěng yú huái) - To take something to heart, to brood over something (idiom). A more formal and literary way to describe the state of being unable to let go of a grievance.