kōumén: 抠门 - Stingy, Miserly, Penny-pinching

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Summary: Learn the essential Chinese term 抠门 (kōumén), a colloquial and slightly negative word for being “stingy” or “miserly.” This page explores its cultural meaning beyond simple frugality, explaining why being 抠门 (kōumén) can be a social taboo in China where generosity and “face” (面子) are highly valued. Discover how to use it in conversation, contrast it with its positive counterpart 节俭 (jiéjiǎn), and understand its role in modern Chinese social dynamics, from dating to friendships.

Pinyin (with tone marks): kōumén

Part of Speech: Adjective

HSK Level: N/A (but highly common in spoken Chinese)

Concise Definition: To be stingy, cheap, or ungenerously unwilling to spend money.

In a Nutshell: 抠门 (kōumén) describes someone who is cheap to a fault. It's not about being wisely frugal; it's about being ungenerous, often in social situations where a bit of generosity is expected. The word carries a negative, judgmental connotation, implying the person's penny-pinching inconveniences or offends others.

抠 (kōu): This character means “to dig,” “to pick at,” or “to carve out,” often with one's fingernail. It evokes a sense of scraping to get every last bit.

门 (mén): This character simply means “door” or “gate.”

Combined Meaning: The characters together paint a vivid picture: someone is so cheap they are literally “digging at the doorframe” to save the tiniest fleck of wood. It's an image of extreme, almost absurd, reluctance to part with anything of value. Think of someone who is reluctant to even open their “door” (e.g., their wallet) to let money out.

A Social Critique, Not a Virtue: In Western cultures, frugality and thriftiness are often praised as virtues of responsibility and good planning. In China, while the concept of being economical (节俭 jiéjiǎn) is also a traditional virtue, 抠门 (kōumén) is almost always a criticism. The key difference lies in the social context. Frugality is about how you manage your own resources; 抠门 is about how your management of resources negatively affects your generosity towards others.

Comparison to “Stingy”: The English word “stingy” is a good translation, but 抠门 (kōumén) is deeply tied to the cultural concepts of 面子 (miànzi) - face and 关系 (guānxi) - relationships. In China, treating friends to a meal or giving a generous gift is a way to build relationships and give everyone “face.” Someone who is 抠门 in these situations—for example, by insisting on splitting a small bill down to the last cent or by never offering to treat—causes both themself and their companions to lose face. They are seen as not valuing the relationship enough to be generous.

Generosity as Social Glue: In many social situations, especially among friends, colleagues, and in dating, generosity is the expected norm. Being 抠门 signals a lack of social grace and can damage one's reputation and relationships.

Connotation and Formality: 抠门 is an informal, colloquial term with a distinctly negative connotation. You would use it to complain about a friend, a boss, or a date, but you would almost never say it to someone's face unless you were very close and joking (or trying to start an argument).

小气 (xiǎoqì) - A very common synonym for 抠门. It means “stingy” and can also mean “petty” or “small-minded.”

吝啬 (lìnsè) - A more formal, literary word for “miserly” or “stingy.” You're more likely to see this in writing than hear it in casual conversation.

大方 (dàfāng) - The direct antonym of 抠门. It means “generous,” both with money and in spirit.

节俭 (jiéjiǎn) - The positive counterpart: “frugal” or “thrifty.” It is a respected virtue.

省钱 (shěng qián) - A neutral verb phrase meaning “to save money.” This is the action, while 抠门 or 节俭 is the trait.

铁公鸡 (tiě gōngjī) - A vivid idiom meaning “iron rooster.” It describes a person from whom you cannot pluck a single feather (i.e., get a single cent). It's a very strong way to call someone 抠门.

AA制 (AA zhì) - From the English “Algebraic Average,” this phrase means “to go Dutch” or split the bill evenly. Whether this is considered 抠门 depends entirely on the social context.

面子 (miànzi) - “Face”; social standing and reputation. Being generous gives face, while being 抠门 can cause a loss of face for everyone involved.