chī dòufu: 吃豆腐 - To Eat Tofu; To Flirt, To Take Advantage Of (Sexually)
Quick Summary
Keywords: 吃豆腐, chidoufu, chi doufu, what does chi doufu mean, eat tofu meaning, Chinese slang for flirting, Chinese sexual harassment, taking advantage of someone in Chinese, groping in Chinese, Chinese culture.
Summary: “吃豆腐” (chī dòufu) is a hugely important Chinese slang phrase that literally means “to eat tofu.” However, its modern, colloquial meaning is to flirt with, tease, or sexually harass someone—ranging from light, playful banter to unwanted physical contact like groping. Understanding this term is crucial for learners to avoid misinterpretation and to grasp the cultural nuances of personal boundaries and inappropriate behavior in China. This entry breaks down its origins, modern usage, and how to differentiate its meaning from a simple meal.
Core Meaning
Pinyin (with tone marks): chī dòufu
Part of Speech: Verb Phrase
HSK Level: N/A
Concise Definition: Literally, “to eat tofu”; figuratively, to take advantage of someone sexually, often through unwanted touching or flirtatious talk.
In a Nutshell: While you can literally “eat tofu,” 99% of the time you hear “吃豆腐” (chī dòufu) in conversation, it's not about food. It's a widely used slang term to describe someone, usually a man, making an inappropriate advance on a woman. The severity can range from a cheesy pickup line to a serious accusation of groping on a crowded subway. The key is that the action is unwelcome and benefits the perpetrator.
Character Breakdown
吃 (chī): A simple and common character meaning “to eat.”
豆 (dòu): This character means “bean,” most commonly referring to soybeans.
腐 (fǔ): This character means “to rot” or “curdle.” In this context, it refers to the curdling process that turns soy milk into tofu.
The literal combination of the characters, “eat bean-curd,” is straightforward. The term's power and importance come entirely from its culturally evolved, figurative meaning.
Cultural Context and Significance
The most popular origin story for “吃豆腐” dates back to the Han Dynasty. A tofu shop owner's wife was famously beautiful and flirtatious. Many men would visit the shop not just for tofu, but for a chance to interact and flirt with her. They would make excuses to linger, such as touching her hand when paying. Consequently, when local wives saw their husbands heading out, they would sarcastically ask, “Are you going to eat tofu again?” The phrase became a euphemism for dallying with an attractive woman.
Over time, the meaning shifted from playful flirting to encompass more negative and predatory behavior. Tofu is soft, white, and yielding, which some linguists believe created a metaphorical link to a woman's skin or perceived vulnerability. Today, the term carries a strong negative connotation and is almost always used to describe an unwanted advance.
Comparison to Western Concepts: “吃豆腐” is not a perfect match for any single English phrase.
It can be as light as “to hit on someone” or “to make a pass at,” especially if only words are involved.
However, it more often implies physical contact, making it closer to “to cop a feel” or “to grope.”
Unlike the formal, legal term “sexual harassment” (`性骚扰 xìngsāorǎo`), “吃豆腐” is a colloquial, everyday term that captures the full spectrum of inappropriate behavior, from minor to severe.
Practical Usage in Modern China
Accusations: This is the most common usage. It's used to call out or describe inappropriate behavior, especially in public spaces like buses, subways, or crowded streets. A woman might shout at a man who touched her, or tell her friends about it later.
Joking and Banter: Among close friends, it can be used humorously. For example, if a male friend gets to sit next to a pretty girl, his friends might jokingly accuse him of getting a chance to “吃豆腐.” This usage is highly contextual and should be avoided by learners until they have a strong grasp of social dynamics.
Media and Social Media: The term is frequently used in news headlines, social media posts, and TV dramas to discuss incidents of sexual harassment or celebrities involved in scandals.
Connotation: The connotation is almost always negative. The person being “eaten” is a victim. The person “eating” is a perpetrator. Even when used jokingly, it frames the action as taking an unfair advantage.
Example Sentences
Example 1: (Literal Meaning)
我今天午饭想吃豆腐。
Pinyin: Wǒ jīntiān wǔfàn xiǎng chī dòufu.
English: I want to eat tofu for lunch today.
Analysis: This is the rare, literal usage. The context of ordering food or discussing a meal makes the meaning clear.
English: He secretly groped me on the subway, it's so disgusting!
Analysis: This is a very common and serious use of the phrase. The context of a crowded public space and the adverb `偷偷 (tōutōu - secretly)` highlights the predatory nature of the act.
Example 3: (Warning a Friend)
你要小心那个老板，他很喜欢吃女员工的豆腐。
Pinyin: Nǐ yào xiǎoxīn nàge lǎobǎn, tā hěn xǐhuān chī nǚ yuángōng de dòufu.
English: You need to be careful with that boss, he likes to take advantage of the female employees.
Analysis: Here, it's used as a warning, implying a pattern of inappropriate behavior that could be verbal or physical.
Example 4: (Verbal Harassment)
他没碰我，但他说的那些话就是在吃我豆腐。
Pinyin: Tā méi pèng wǒ, dàn tā shuō de nàxiē huà jiùshì zài chī wǒ dòufu.
English: He didn't touch me, but the things he said were totally inappropriate (literally: were “eating my tofu”).
Analysis: This example clearly shows that “吃豆腐” can refer to purely verbal harassment, not just physical contact.
Example 5: (Joking Among Friends)
电影里你最喜欢的男演员跟女主角拥抱了那么久，他可吃了不少豆腐啊！
Pinyin: Diànyǐng lǐ nǐ zuì xǐhuān de nán yǎnyuán gēn nǚ zhǔjué yōngbào le nàme jiǔ, tā kě chī le bùshǎo dòufu a!
English: Your favorite actor in the movie hugged the lead actress for so long, he really got to take advantage!
Analysis: This is a lighthearted, third-person observation about a scene in a movie. It's a joke about the actor “getting lucky.” This tone is reserved for informal situations.
Example 6: (News/Formal Report Context)
最近，关于职场“吃豆腐”的讨论越来越多。
Pinyin: Zuìjìn, guānyú zhíchǎng “chī dòufu” de tǎolùn yuèláiyuè duō.
English: Recently, there has been more and more discussion about “taking advantage” in the workplace.
Analysis: News articles often put slang terms like this in quotes to acknowledge their colloquial nature while discussing a serious topic.
English: Don't joke with me like that, I don't want you to “hit on me” / “take advantage of me”.
Analysis: A direct and clear way to set a boundary, using the phrase to reject unwanted flirtatious behavior. The passive voice `被 (bèi)` is common here.
Example 8: (Gender-Reversed, Less Common)
他长得很帅，所以有时候也会被女同事吃豆腐。
Pinyin: Tā zhǎng de hěn shuài, suǒyǐ yǒu shíhòu yě huì bèi nǚ tóngshì chī dòufu.
English: He's very handsome, so sometimes female colleagues will take advantage of him too.
Analysis: While less common, the phrase can be used for women harassing men. This usage often implies the man is passive or uncomfortable with the attention.
Example 9: (General Statement)
我最讨厌的就是那种爱吃豆腐的油腻男。
Pinyin: Wǒ zuì tǎoyàn de jiùshì nà zhǒng ài chī dòufu de yóunì nán.
English: The thing I hate most is that type of greasy guy who loves to grope/hit on women.
Analysis: This describes a type of person—someone whose character includes this negative behavior. `油腻男 (yóunì nán)` is another piece of slang for a “greasy” or sleazy older man.
English: Wait a minute, was he just hitting on you / touching you inappropriately?
Analysis: Used by a third party who witnesses a suspicious interaction and is checking in with the potential victim.
Nuances and Common Mistakes
Mistake 1: Taking it Literally. Never assume “吃豆腐” is about food unless the context is explicitly a kitchen, restaurant, or grocery store. In 99% of social situations, it's the figurative meaning.
Mistake 2: Using it to Flirt. Do not use this phrase to flirt with someone. Saying “我想吃你豆腐 (Wǒ xiǎng chī nǐ dòufu)” does not mean “I want to flirt with you.” It sounds aggressive and creepy, like saying “I want to grope you.” The phrase is used to *describe* the action, usually by the victim or a witness, not to *propose* it.
Mistake 3: Underestimating its Severity. While it can describe minor verbal jokes, it is very often used for serious physical harassment. Always gauge the severity from the speaker's tone and the context. If a woman says it with an angry or upset expression, she is making a serious accusation.
Related Terms and Concepts
占便宜 (zhàn piányi): To take advantage of someone. This is a much broader term that can refer to taking advantage financially, socially, or in any situation, not just sexually. “吃豆腐” is a specific type of “占便宜”.
性骚扰 (xìngsāorǎo): Sexual harassment. This is the formal, legal term you would see in laws, company policies, and serious news reports. “吃豆腐” is the everyday, colloquial equivalent.
色狼 (sèláng): Literally “color wolf.” A common slang term for a pervert or lecher. A “色狼” is a person who likes to “吃豆腐”.
咸猪手 (xiánzhūshǒu): Literally “salty pig hand.” This term refers specifically to the wandering, groping hand of a harasser. It's more graphic and physical than “吃豆腐”.
调戏 (tiáoxì): To take liberties with; to flirt with in an inappropriate or teasing way. This term feels a bit more literary or old-fashioned and strongly implies a power imbalance (e.g., a powerful man teasing a maidservant).
非礼 (fēilǐ): Indecent assault. A more formal and serious term for unwanted physical contact, often used in police reports.