In Western cultures, the phrase “sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me” is a common childhood lesson, suggesting a clear hierarchy where physical harm is worse than verbal harm. In Chinese culture, this is not necessarily the case. 伤害 (shānghài), especially in the form of 伤害感情 (shānghài gǎnqíng - to hurt feelings), is taken very seriously. Chinese culture places immense value on social harmony, interpersonal relationships (关系 guānxi), and “face” (面子 miànzi). A verbal attack that causes someone to lose face or damages a relationship can be seen as a profound act of aggression. For a learner, it's critical to understand that saying something that could 伤害 someone's feelings is not a minor offense. It can have lasting consequences on your relationship with that person, their family, or even their social network. This is why communication is often more indirect and careful, to avoid causing this kind of harm. The concept is less about “being too sensitive” and more about “maintaining fundamental social harmony.”
伤害 (shānghài) is a versatile verb used in many contexts, from daily conversation to formal reports.
Its connotation is almost always negative. The formality depends on the context; it can be used in a very personal, emotional argument or in a formal legal document.
The most critical mistake for learners is confusing 伤害 (shānghài) with words that describe the feeling of pain.